~Prohibited Jealousy~

~PROHIBITED JEALOUSY~

*shake* *shake*

Can't shake thatdisturbing image off! Her hands on his lap... lying side by side on the sofa bed...

and me... yet not even able to muster the courage to hold his hands, sits beside him and chat up!! Grrr... Ya, she's drunk.. ok.. wait she's high. She's bothered... but what gives her the chance/the opportunity/the liberty to touch him.

I am green, as my blog shows. Green With ENVY, RED with JEALOUSY!!!

HOLD ON SENORITA! whar makes u feel u haf e right to be red???

ya... i noe.. and reluctantly, i agreed. Thus the title: Prohibited Jealousy.

Itz always the case ar? Same with Tam. I'm sick of it... Y am i so adamant on getting someone thatz so hard to get? I have so many others who are dying to get a call / sms from me, albeit if it is only a good nite...

*SCREAMS* LIFE IS UNFAIR ---> nt that i do not know of. but it just seems that I am being reminded one time too many.. over n over again.

I resigned to my fate. I surrender. Thou shalt naught like thy guys. Thou shalt look for thy fair maiden...

Author's note: Maybe itz due to the Xmas. I am feeling lonelier than usual. Kat has been sweet. Tessa has been away.. but i need something else to fill that emptiness, inside me.



When can I be happy?
Love me



LOVE:
Deprived of Love

Plans for upcoming X'mas

"I saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus"

Yippee!! itz X'mas nax wik loe! bUt saddie... i'm naught eeen de muud yet. how?? the xMas bUg din find me????
I'm here!! *Waves*.. hey! *waves frantically* hey!! Hey!! *waves more frantically* sounds get distant...

i been bizzy working at City Plaza & Amoy St.. Earning alot & spending alot.. Just signed up for a $400 facial package at Modern Beauty when I JUZ finished paying $600 for another package prior to this... and i still have 7 treatments more!!! Haiz.. spent $100 on the gifts for the kidz.. excluding my sis-es, tess & kat & sam...

Not all... bought a new bag for $33 (gd buy!)
A Pair of Earrings for $7.
A black sexy dress for $50 (low v neckline, halter, short)
A yellow skirt for $35 (Short, Sexy.)

Grr..... Y am i spending so much?? [Did i mention my colleagues are travelling and i got them to get me fragrances from DFS??] Hell no!!!... My Hard-Earned $$$$

Anyway.. forget abt those above.. getting my pay in ten days time... so... DUN CARE.

What are the plans for Silent Nite? I'll be working..
Wanted to get a hotel room... with KAT.. but i'm only free after 3 am... then wad's she gonna do while waiting? Wash herself clean for me?? She will peel from that long hours of washing.. haha
Clubbing? She will drown in those ever-going waves of crowds of cooped, deprived ghosts...
then...... great! find friends... Smart lass! bUT WaiT....

We had paused for 3 minutes... and there's no one in our list whom we can ask... Sam should be having her own programs... Pengxiang and rest may jsut wanna mj... and ... we got no more friends...
BOO HOO!!!! Tracey has no friends....!!!!! HOW CAN THAT BE~!!!!

Friends out there... let me know... what i can do....

Love is in the air

15 December 04 Wednesday weather: Slacky

Came to work not wanting to work... that's what many feel every morning rite! But not me, I am in love with my work. Aspires to make a mark here.. I can do it.. but not today..think i am FINALLY drained of whatever is left of me.

Those who do not noe me well, listen up! i'm a full time Customer Service Executive in a US Pump Mfg Co. who is a leader in this niche market of the custom engineered pumps manufacturing. Our turnover every yr will scared the shit out of your pants n u'll go on bended knees to call me "God Mamma"

(Digress alittle: psst.. heard On Bended Knees over the radio this morning... reminds me of James.)

I moonlight too... yes.. though i'm so rich, i need to get something to do at nite to pass my time.. 2 part time nite jobs.. not telling you where.. only that it isn't decent.. like it?

i sleep only 3 hrs max per nite.. work for 16 hrs straight... cool chick!

Been doing this for a few years with breaks in between without the parttime... Someone once told me not to be a slave to $$, to work smart n not hard... Thanks Alvan.. but I'm not a slave.. I totally enjoyed my self sufficient life currently. I enjoyed my work. every bit.

Speaking of Alvan, he's a new guy in my life... (dun worry to all my admirers out there, I'm still single.. up to this very minute.) i knew him from the poker club..(the 1st licensed pub to play poker in SGP). Totally different from those I was with before. Maybe i was influenced by James...

He's quiet, stable & easy. I feel comfy with him.. (I realised, i tend to like pp whom i feel comfy with albeit i have an ideal guy frame in my mind.. ) Other than Tam, he's the only one that i took the 1st step to be closer fren. Is it a crush? Or is it just plain boredom in my life? I doubt so, i never tot about being together with him now. Just wanna hang ard with him, noe more abt his character.

I really admire and envy those pp who know their partners long before they are together. Mine always are together first then know.. before knowing fully, we are apart ...

Back to Alvan, i have been wilfully sending him lotsa ridiculous smses and yet he's been accomodating my non-sense, with no 'ulterior motive' behind. Well, he gets to meet a lot of pretty gers... so maybe he doesnt reallly care abt me..

Really hope we can be friends.

For those who have been following my blogs, i'm sorry if i give u the impression that i am infatuated with guys or i'm darn fickle-minded... But pls. note.. dun doubt.. I m..

Flower-Idiot


A joke to end the blog:

After sex, the prostitute keeps on fondering with the man's cock.
Man: Why? You didnt have enough? More?
Prostitute: Admiring it... I used to have one before.

Notice of Apology

Been very busy... too many things happened to me in such short length of time. I would have thought i have aged at least 5-8 yrs after all these incidents. Wait!.. but ... no.. i am not writing those downs.. Heard of this?

"Shout all your bad happenings, unhappiness & grumbles to a bottle of water, cap it, shake it. Now your troubles are drowned.. Then Pour it away..."

Never keep to heart the bad thingies that has occurred.. instead just let them pass and never recalll...

Back to the title of this blog. I wanna apologise to people i have mentioned in this blog. Be it intentionally or unintentionally i have hurt you through here... I am sorry. False names are still used to protect the identity of the apologiseee.

Sorry... maybe i should say more to more people..

Sorry to Laven, I was not a good gal.

Sorry to Tam, I could not be contented.

Sorry to Kat, I am never free.

Sorry to Sam, I was never sensitive towards you.

Sorry to Tessa, I made you lose confidence in our re'ship.

Sorry to Mum and Dad... eh.. nothing actually.. i am a wondrous daughter.

Hmm... No thanks to those guys that pissed me off.. esp. MCPs.. better not let me see one... I may show him my Invincible martial arts that passed down by generation ....

Anyway.. thats all.. I am onlie apologetic.. today..
Y should i even say sorry at all???
Perspective....