seclusion

its been 5 years since the loss.

suddenly someone raked up ur name n there it stayed, lingering in my head. no matter whad i did, i could not flush it out... and the more i cared about its presence, the deeper it gets in. Finally, i did a google search on ur name. and viola, i found ur facebook... haha. its easy ar~ coulda been easier as we have so many mutual friends...

i tried to keeep u out of my life for so long whilst u are attached to her.

i tried to keep u clear.

i tried to forget u.

i tried.

and now, its haunting once again.

nothing to prove...

but the haunt brought me back to this blog... this blog that i so badly wants to close and yet... still writing in it after few years.

someone dear told me... "a scar will always be a scar. dun touch it and its not there.. once u touch, the pain returns...."

Awakened

he who Dormanted all this while, is awakened
stirring deep inside me,

Pissed & messed with my peaceful calm
vowing to bring back the tsunami.

last goodbye

4 d'ose tt r still interested in my delusional way of writing, narcissistic view of everything and the liveing in e world tt i tot everyone else would be interested in knowing... follow me.

http://erratic-me.blogspot.com

...........................................................................................
such is the end to this blog. it has recorded a milestone of my life. now i am advancing towards a newer stage and i wish to let go of certain stuff... no one, including me, knows whether i can truly let go... at the minimal, i did try... juz lyk closin dis blog...

bye everyone.. (tho' d'ere shan't b ani1 hu is still viewing...) bye 2 e boy whom i created dis global journal for... itz a diary for a coward. a record of the cowardly things tt dis timid lil' gal dare not show, yet triumphantly wanna declare to e equallie cowardly boy...

it may haf bin juz an illusional trip, or delusional, in our lives. Our paths had crossed once, crossed twice.. and maybe never again. the experience of u around me, ur image popping in & out of my mind now & den, ur jokes tt kept my whole weeek bright.. e hope u gave me til our next meeting... the hurt u have deep in u tt makes u human to me.. and ur broken wing...

nw tt we have parted our ways, d ride wif u remains deep in me. gO forth, forwards & onwards to find ur life. find wad u wanted. u may never realise. but u haf wat u wanted all along.

i haf found my new lease of life. hope u get urs too.

Good bye my friend.

..............................................

BAD DAE

(Kaoz.. lost my post. this is what i recovered, only 25%. resorted to writing a long post. and this is wad i get. Whad a BAD day.)

"Phew"

"Sigh"

(Did you hear a sigh of relief?....)

(...or a sigh of disappointment???)

Well, I dunno either. (shrugs)

I finished my exams today. Business Statistics Paper. Relatively easy. This and Monday OB paper are ones i reallie put my whole heart in to study, after so long. I never was a studyer back in school. Other than the PSLE, i guess the rest of the times i just revised the day before and go to exams like this. Hmm, never knew what is exams stress till now.

A word of advice. : Studies is really very important. Had I endeavour back then, I would have graduated from the University right now, with an Honor degree of my choice......

for the whole of laz week, i've been looking forth to dis very day, the moment now. i swear i m going to partie hard, real solid hard! to compensate and reward my hard work and efforts thrown in... but now.. u noe ware m i???

----->>>>>> MY OFFICE <<<<<<<<<------------

I couldn't believe my self! Am i workaholic or wad?! nah.
if i m, i will be bz catching up on the loads of stuff. instead here me typing into my computer. lost in the blogomosphere.

Hate myself. so useless.

(Grr.. lost my super long post... still angweee... NB)

l

Exams Stressed

yoz! hi peeps, i am back.

life has been busy for me. A quick update for ya guys who have been concerned. Hmm.. After the last blog, i have got together with a guy, pretty nice and cheerful fella. I was happy when i was with him, humorous and crappy i called it. THings didn't work out in the end, guess it was pretty much cause of... i dunno. not my factor... it's his bah. his life is pretty laid back, and he lived everything in a light jokingly manner. Guess i prefer much more security. Come to think of it... nothing seems to be wrong with us... till a nite to the Devils'. We drifted apart after that. Still friends now. Surprisin'ly! Knowing tracey, there is no frendship frm love.

Oh ya, i stopped tequila.

I started my Dip in IBS from MDIS in may.

Had my 1st modular exams yesterday. ANother coming this thurs.

I went to CFPS 6B95 gathering last week on the 23rd. Miss those friends of mine in Pri Sch. All the TOOPID stuff we did and the growing up stages of everyone. Oo yah.. Ms Wee( now Mrs Ng ) mentioned that all were worried for me in that NYGH stage.... haiz... forget abt those stuff. Now i am reborned and struggling reallie hard to be back in pace. Seeing all of them graduating from UNI, working executive lifestyles.. envy

I am happily attached now to this ideal man of my dreams! haha! Exaggerating? i think naught. he's almost everything i want. although he's not perfect yet. he's near.

Dun wanna go into details so as not to break the hearts of those who are in love with me secretlie and admiring from far... Take care and there will be girls suitable for you out there. However, please lower your expectations, none will come near as good as me though.

Enough said, need to get back to work.
there's a lot of special events going in my life right now. hope that i have more time to share here.

bye.
Princess Qi Qi

The Perfect Guy

Hi guys! I'm back. Guess these 2 months are like a traumatizing relief for me. My life is always so full of events and happenings, twists n turns... Quick update,

1. I'm not with the poker club anymore.
2. Had 1 relationship during the two months, but fizzed out in less than a mth tim.
3. Moving out of Joo Chiat.
4. Looking for a new place now.
5. Free-Lancing as the Tequila Gal rite now.

Exciting sia??? But I was really hurt in the last re'ship. Thought I can settle with this guy whom I do feel for him. However, he is still remaining in the timezone whereby I had got myself out with MUCH effortss... I trust he will change for the better one day. In net, he's actually a very nice guy. All the best to him.

No matter what happens, friends & family will always be there for me. I'm so excited!! My chummies listings goes on... still adding on... I love myself for being so lovable to my friends. Thanks! Tessa, Kat, Sammie, Tanya, Carina, Eve, Ber, PengXiang, Kate, Jen & now I have a new gal --- Pearlyn.. Such a sweeeeeeeeetie.. Can't miss her. Sweet 18, innocent, naive yet rebelllious. sHe's my partner for this TeQuiLa assignment.

(Of course, i still miss him).. Went out for crabs with tess, kate & sandy yesterday @ AMK blk 233. POWER sIA.. MUST TRY.. MUST bring me there to try. HAHa. anyway, after sandy n kate left, me n tessa immediately started to bombard each other with e progress status of lives, at the same time, busy downloading what each other just said.. BITCHY.

(misssing him)... he was being brought up when we touched on the topic "The Perfect Man". Analysing the few reasons that we are still not together. Haiz.. guess I'm not good enough to make him want me. (nothing sexual intended. I'm absolutely Sexy.) as his gf.

Was it becux he thot i am bery 'hao4 wan2'?

Dun like pp to use this phrase on me. It only shows how much they know me, and how little abt life they noe. What do you mean by HAO4 WAN2??? Playful?? in what way? I am not a PLAYER in the sleepover field, not as if i go clubbing to find pp to sleep with. All human beings should enjoy life. Learn how to play to the max.

Loving to club does not necessarily mean "hao wan". I club as to people reads for hobby. Anyway i'm outgoing, super extrovert, hyperactive, loves my life and everything in it. Y shudn't I play? This is just the same thinking ignorant peeps imposed on tatts.

Are all people with tattoos = bad people?? ----> think abt it.

Was it beCuz of the last few relationships?

Maybe, who knows? I never asked. He is a romantic by heart, true lover who believes in faith. I won't be surprised if he is still affectionate about it. I like this trait. No one can do anything abt it except himself.

Was it becoz of our good friends???

This is a ridiculous factor + infuriating as well, If it ever becomes valid... as the reason behind me not being able to be with him, i will JUMP! off the first building in sight! What kinda era we r in? 2 perfect ideal persons cannot be together due... to ... the... objections.. of friends.??? or being .. mindful... of... the.. friends.... (KILL ME!) alright, i do value friendships. But if your friends stand in your path and obstruct you from seeking happiness, they are not good friends.. Goofy more likely.

Whatever it is, i still feel u r da' one. Life goes on. I am waiting. Earth continues to spin, I live on.

Love,

Sentimental Slut deeply in lOve W Bastard.

Reborn amongst ashes of fire

(PS: I had finished writing this blog once before the connection was off... and i have to re-write everything off my memory... F***)

***Which character do you like most from HARRY POTTER***

Hmm.. Itz... FAWKES!!

(now i hear 'gaspses')

Why not Harry? Hermione? Voldemort? Dumbledore???? NAH! I din like this bird cus it fetched the Sorting HAT and the Gryffindor Sword for Potter to whilst he's in grave danger... neither is it due to his miraculous tears with almight healing power that recover Potter from his fatal venom 'bite' whilst fighting that giant serpent....

THE REASON IS: HE's A PHOENIX!!!!

One who can burn himself up in fires when he's sick and tired of the then current life, and reborn amidst ashes of flames! COOL! some kinda opening to a new Life!

I liken myself to this legendary beautiful creature. (please refer to my last blog where I was totally screwed and life was meaningless for me...) Reduced to nothing was what I described myself as. Hey! But nOW, thiNgs are mOving onTo thE riGht tRack again! jUSt to reMind myselF tHat I am nOt VoldemOrt... who's less than NoThINg!! ---> *heY! u cn't use LESS THAN NOTHING! NotHing = inFinity... nothing can be less than nothing.... HAHA<---- PS: please refer to XIAXUE's Blog.

Anyway lifehasimprovedsomuchformethismonth. thoUgh i had nOThing... but nOW my saVings has startEd iNCHing towArds my tArgeT... (provided those pp who owed me money all pay back...) To count my blessings:

1. PAY RAISE!!! (though itz of insignificant amount.. but IT S STILLA RAISE! nOT cut!)
2. IcanaffordmYbIlls.
3. My Family is surviving
4. My frens are safe from harm
5. Iwonduringnewyear
6. I MOVED HOUSE!

hey Hey~!~!~ gUEss u sEe where My joy is! i moved outof my place. NOT THAT I DUN LIKE MY HOME.. I Love it, mind you. Only trouble is i dun get to enjoy as much sleep at home... this new place is much nearer tomyworkplace/s. I share a room with my daling Kate, and..*giggles* we sleep together... (kinky) CAN'T hide my x-citement.

Hope she is taking it as well as i do! And yeah, she's a terrific lady... possess great calibre and potential... Hmm... I like.

N Also... she's from DA' CLUB... haha

oh yep. We rented the place from my good Friend cum boss, Calyn... skip the details.

Been there for 2 days... We have almost bought all the things weeee need.. and itz not cheap.. not evenwehn split between two... haiz... The Daily usage and necessities are all in order EXCEPT

HANGERS!

BEDSHEETS FOR DOUBLE BED (TWINSIZE)

DRESSING TABLE

PSS: Any sponsors?

Naturally, as Princess tracey's beliefs always reminded us that LIFE IS NEVER SMOOTH SAILING....

I LOST MY HANDPHONE ---> 90997744

I wun be taking back that line.. even if i do, itz only till May.

Thus please contact me via the other line.. else, email me at terasey@yahoo.com to ask me for my number~!!!

HAHA. Gotta get back to work now...

ReBOrNEd!

Let's keep our fingers crossed and prayed for the well-being of our stay tehre..

PS: Add another wish: I want my money back, friends....

BYE FOR NOW>>>

ThE fORever LiVIng sLUt